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Notes: 1 / 1 year ago
3/1/2011
I decided to finally start a blog/journal on here after googling household items I could overdose on. My search was not very fruitful, otherwise i wouldnt be on this. Things have been kinda shitty today. Sophie is upset over god knows what, I said that i don’t know if I would ever get married because I would want it to be someone I could truly happy with for the rest of my life, and the chances of me finding someone like that are very slim. And I IMed Angel the other day and she saw our convo (Angel and I didn’t talk about anything she should get upset about, it was seriously harmless), but she can still talk to the guy who’s obsessed with her and flirtily(word?) talk to half the guys at school. No big deal, life’s full of double standards. I feel terrible since I’ve moved because my mom is so upset, but I’m pretty sure this move has been for the better. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I also have not smoked pot/chewed for two days, and counting. That’s shitty And I think the most frustrating thing to deal with here is the fact that I don’t feel for Sophie the way she feels for me. I mean, I like her and all, but my feelings for here are nothing compared to the feelings I had for Ashley or Sam. And I am constantly tempted by Angel’s sweet sweet body, lol. But seriously, resisting horny urges as a guy is fucking HARD. literally. I’m glad I finally worked out today, I didnt lift weights like i planned, but at least I ran.
I’m just so confused about life, I just want to get out on my own.
Truly on my own, not tied by family and their stupid needs from you.
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1 year ago
stole this, but i think it might help to have a “diary”
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
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2 years ago
i really..
think my life sucks dick right now.. its my first day back and i feel exactly how i did when i couldnt get excited for anything. whoopdee fucking doo
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2 years ago
well…..
um… we jsut broke up. kinda fast. or better to say she broke up with me….. idk it still hasnt hit me yet.. i mean.. i love her and i really want to fight for her but i feel like shes still there.. like i said it hasnt hit me. it prolly will in 2 days but… if shes serious that will probably be too late… i played drus and thatwas really helping till i gt yelled at. that bitch of a mom. well…. i just feel like shit now… i dont think it was that big of a deal but i guess it was to her.. the whole lying thing.. it was one thing!!!! and it was about hookah.. i think cheatings fucked up.. like i said im downgrading my lies.. haha. the thing that really got me was the whole your not the right boy for me thing…. like all that stuff we had planned goes toshit because of hookah?? cuz look im not lying anymore. it was just weird i’ll let you know when i think something isnt that big of a deal ok. just call me when your done reading this ash.. itruly am sorry this is just one big….. idk, stupid pile of shit.
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2 years ago
bonerkill (jk!)
Well oregons been ok so far i guess. I really didnt want to come up but… whatever its fun to ride quads, too bad i almost killed myself today doing it (sharp turn at 50 mph, not a good combo, sick drift tho). haha. and tomorrow im going to seaside :) me and mark had some pretty sick times there. Me and ashley are good and i have a really good feeling about us :) i always have that feeling, but idk WTF happened last night. i guess i was tired/sick/in an argument about religion/gay. but whatever i really know it wont happen again.. like i had to get one more good bitchfit out before i could stop i forever. haha.
I have CDs!!!! haha i love listening to them! more than my iPod! haha im listening to Taylor Swift right now. White horse, the album version is soooooo much better. and t swift is amazing. i normally hate country but this is like…. more than that. and fuck all you little bandwagon bitches who only like love story and you belong with me. listen her other amazing 30 songs haha. i sound sooo gay right now.. sorry ash.
well i cant wait to get back to vegas with my cds in my car :))) i was pretty pissed at mark before i left because of his gas money jewness but his moms been saying theyre poor to him (theyre not) so i see where hes coming from, and ill have a car soon anyway so…. yeah. Damn i cant wait back and go bowling! i need to get the thumbhole drilled and then ill be amazing :) cuz half me throws right now get suck and im still bowling a 110 average. so…..
sorry i dont come on here much but i dont want it to feel like an oblugation and then like… burn out on it. so…. yeah. its cool to read my posts from like a week ago. haha cuz i post what im thinking not just what i did that day…. (cough cough ashley) ;)
haha well im gonna surf the internet while listening to Taylor swift and ashley you were right!!! breathe is an amazing song. i love you :)
k peace.
and i have that “get buck in here” remix all thought out, i just gotta get home and make it :)
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2 years ago
um…
this is my blog…… and its not gonna be bullshit pictures and shit like that, just a journal. haha
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2 years ago
7/25/09
Today was pretty fun, hiked mount charleston with dustin and his dad. Its hella sick to hang out at his house too, his dads pretty chill, but i need to start not sneaking out and getting him in trouble. then i got my car. And then i went bowling with ashley, it was pretty fun, i really do feel good about our relationship. I can actually get excited for things now. I was numb at the beginning, but i think thats because of sleep.
I have been on the most fucked up sleep schedule lately, and i need to stop masturbating, i feel so much better with a full…… yeah. haha. and i need to get some sleep!!!!! haha well….. i just hope that everything works out, I mean, i haven’t been cheating or anything, and thats taken SO much pressure off of me. I think im starting to become a better person, like i planned in Alaska. I want to be a chill person, whos in a good relationship. I need to be nicer to my mom too.. but she really has some control issues, but that will be easier to deal with once the school ear starts ;). I really hope my grades dont get fucked up this year too… but overall i think things have been pretty good.. The one thing I realy want is to like… have a serious conversation with Ashley, but one thats not about the past and present problems of our relationship, but just about like…..life. idk. I really do care about her, and talking to her is really important for me, i just have a lot of stuff(friends) in my life. haha. cuz like.. lately our talking has just been like foofoo i love you stuff. but we have been able to see eachother in person, so…. its whatever. and i think things are really gonna start moving forward with me and her.
sorry that everything was so scattered.
im gonna go catch some sleep.
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